A. G. G. I. E. reader wants advice for dealing with jealous woman

"Jealous Much?"

Filling in for Yessi Perez on this issue's advice column are Gabriel Contreras & Marie Enright

Hi-I would appreciate some advice.

I am having an issue with a woman whom is much older than me. She does not know me and has not had one conversation with me. Yet I find she is constantly "talking trash" about me to other people. I wouldn't really care, but its now an ongoing thing. She talks about me to my peers and business partners. Everyone of them have told me about it. They all pretty much say the same thing about her. They say that she is old, bitter, really crazy, and envious of me. ​I'm not sure why she would be envious. She is married to some old, rich man that she cheats on all of the time and has some kind of a business doing something. I guess I just think it's kind of strange.

I'm not sure whether I should address her or not. I wonder if I have offended her in some way? I stay to myself, I stay out of other people's business, and just try to live my own life to the fullest. And by the way-I am not married. I have just recently started my own business and am a whole lot younger by at least 30 something odd years. All of this time I have just ignored her, because I do feel sorry for her. I don't know her personally, but I think she is strange. When I do see her or hear of her being mentioned, it's either about her saying something negative about me or about her trying to act really young for her age and hoping she gets attention. Should I just continue to ignore her or confront her?

-Another Girl Gone Ignorant & Envious (for what reason I don't know)

A.G.G.I.E.,

This woman is most likely jealous of you. There is no other reason she would be talking so much mess. You are some type of competition to her whether you feel you are or not. I say you walk up to her when you see her-confront her. Don't make a big scene, of course, but do address her when you cross paths again.

I would start the conversation with "Hey, what's your deal? Do you have something against me?"

(Mind you-it's all about your tone and demeanor)

Then wait for a response and just know that it can go good or bad.

In the best case scenario, it could clear the air and maybe she'll stop talking all of that trash.

On the other hand, if she chooses to still throw shade then clearly she's just a hater and has nothing better to do with her time.

You may never get the answer that you want. Some people are just tacky. Keep in mind that no matter what happens, you are still you.

-Gabriel Contreras

In response to A.G.G.I.E.,

Hmmm....I say that the woman is ENVIOUS and definitely sounds like a bitter soul. She may even have a mental illness. Therefore, I would just let it go-really. People will find out who you are and who she really is...A JEALOUS crazy lady.

Think of it this way-if you were to confront her, she would be winning. I say that, because it sounds like all she wants is DRAMA. Think of her as the child that craves attention-any and all attention, whether it's good or bad. Don't reward her negative behavior. A fire is only put out when there is nothing to keep it going.

So, repeat with me- Ignore, ignore, ignore! You're time is too precious to waste on an ignorant human being. And by the way, I do pity her husband. No one deserves to be cheated on in a relationship.

The next time you think of her, I want you to go over in your mind what your friends have already told you about her. Then brush it off and if you have to, shout out loud-"dear God, bless her." Trust me, it's really therapeutic.

Bottom line-if you're friends say she is crazy AND if you find her strange, then it is just that and nothing more. And what a jealous and crazy woman thinks of you is none of your business. Let her continue to dig her own ditch.

Do not allow yourself to lose a minute of sleep over a mad woman. Go on and keep living your life to the fullest.

-Marie Enright