HOME for the HOLIDAYS: 7 Tips on HOW TO KEEP Your Sanity by Dr. Liz Blanchard
For some people, the holiday season conjures up warm thoughts of family, friends, good food, presents, and maybe a religious service or two. The celebrations are meant to be joyous occasions that create memories for years to come. However, let's be honest. Not everyone's holiday looks like a Hallmark movie and not everyone's family is the "Brady Bunch." So, I decided to sit down with Dr. Liz Blanchard and get her take on the holiday season. Read on for some valuable tips she has to share.
"We must keep in mind that every family has issues. It's how you deal with them that makes the difference," said Liz Blanchard, Psychologist, Professor Emeritus of San Joaquin Delta College Psychology Department and the University of the Pacific School of Education, and current Vice Chair of Stockton Port Commissioners. "The holidays can be a stressful time and a difficult time for families that are having conflict."
1) Guard Your Time
You cannot be everywhere and everything to everyone. Set your priorities and stick to them. If you are invited over to a business associates, friend, or family members house, but don't feel like you have the time or energy to go-that is perfectly okay. If you just don't want to go for whatever reason, that is okay too. Just politely explain that you will not be able to attend and send them a flower bouquet or some type of a gift in lieu of your absence. Gifts do not have to be expensive. Rather it is the thought that counts. A box of chocolates, baked goods, or a bouquet is sufficient.
2) Boundaries
Take into account your own feelings as well as those of your guests. If you are hosting an event at your residence and there is one person who makes you and/or your guests uncomfortable due to their inappropriate behavior, then do not feel compelled to invite them to your event this year. Even if the offender is a family member, you need to have healthy boundaries to maintain your own sanity. Not to say that you should leave any one out, but consider the greater good. You should never have to tolerate abusive behavior towards yourself or any of your guests. Say good bye to toxic people and enjoy a healthy, peaceful atmosphere that everyone can enjoy.
3) Singles, Divorcees, Widows
I recommend singles, divorcees, and widows to find others like themselves and make plans to celebrate the season together. People who do not have any family should really be making plans one or two months in advance of the holiday season to make sure that they will not be alone and have their plans fully mapped out. Traveling internationally or taking a cruise ship to another part of the world during this time would also be a great idea as well.
4) College Students
If you are a college student and not keen on going home for the holidays or simply cannot afford to make the trip then do try to stay busy. There are guidance counselors and others on campus that can be great sources of information on what to do, where to go, and how to get through the holidays. Just be sure to reach them prior to school break. Also be sure to notify your family back home that you won't be able to make it.
5) Mixed Families
If you have a mixed family, then you need to become an expert planner. Organize your time in such a way that all will feel comfortable. Try to think of all the different dynamics and the outcomes of every possible situation. Think of what and how you can make things go smooth before they even have a chance to go bad.
6) Hospitality
Ask your guests if they have any food allergies before you plan your holiday menu. It might also be wise to ask if there are any picky eaters so you can prepare accordingly. If you are inviting families with children, then make sure you have a space for them to be kids. Age appropriate activities can be a life saver and your guests will appreciate your thoughtfulness.
7) Final Word
Remember that if the holidays are a difficult time for you that life does go on at the end of your vacation days. The holidays are only a short period of time. So, don't fret and don't allow any negative feelings to come in and steal your peace. Stay away from toxic people. Be happy and be healthy.